Take note: Different forms of intimacy.
I would feel so bad washing this off, holy shit
Describe your first love and your first kiss
WELL my first kiss was actually pretty magical. It was on the Sleeping Bear Dunes with a Spanish boy named Gonzalo. We were going to be sophomores in high school and I remember the whole week that led up to it I was freaking out with butterflies in my stomach. He was so cute, with his braces and tanned skin, and I was so awkward, with my ginger hair and burned nose. We were on the trip us PF’s and OB’s take to the Dunes and it was the Bowl night. As we were walking back down the hill, someone slipped and the line stopped, so he took that opportunity to lean in, pucker up and kiss me. It was under the moonlight, so thankfully he didn’t see my red cheeks, but I remember feeling so elated and tickled in that moment. It was perfection and I will always smile when I think of Gon and my first kiss.
Now my first love happened two summers ago. At the end of my sophomore of high school, literally the last day of school, this skinny ginger boy and his stoner best friend bumped into my friend and I on the way to our math exam. Our books spilled everywhere, and while his silly friend just laughed, Trev leaned over and helped me pick up our books. He facebook messaged me a couple of days later, apologizing, then asking for my number. I was kind of weirded out, but I texted him and we started talking quite often, just as friends. We chatted about music, the depth and vastness of life, religion, love, sex and our deepest fears. He soon became my best friend. On my 16th birthday he called me and asked me out, and me asking for my grandpa’s advice and getting only positive replies, I said yes. We went on the most perfect date- we went to the record store, the antique mall (just holding hands) and finally to an Italian restaurant where we ordered salads because we were too scared to say what we really wanted. The whole time I tried to act cooler than I was and he tried to hide his shyness. We then decided to go back to his house and watch a movie, Donnie Darko. He held my hand, then put his arm around me.. and finally kissed the top of my heart. My heart was racing so I just smiled and looked away. That night he did not kiss me, and he did not kiss me for another month. What a gentleman. Ah, the year we spent together was beautiful. I love him so much it’s hard to put into words. He became my companion and it saddens me that we ended because of the simple excuse of distance. TJS I adore ya, more than you know. (I say this in the hopes he’ll randomly go on his tumblr and read this). I know that first loves come and go for everyone, but for me, I’m struggling with the “letting go” part of all this. Like I’ve said before, when a person becomes entangled in your heart, it’s so damn hard to untangle them. I miss the little moments, the smiles, the laughter and spooning sessions. I hope over break we can reminisce and have fun together. So much has changed for me in the past four years of my life. I am most definitely NOT the same girl that walked into PHS four years ago.. I am a grown and mature (sorta) woman now. I have fucked up so much that I’m so ready for a new start in Athens, but I truly never will regret one minute of it.
There is my first love and my first kiss. Welcome to the inner thoughts of Clara.